Streak-Free My Giant Ass...

I haven't been tanning in over a year, and I wanted to have a little bit of color because my pasty-ness is scary to me--so I am sure that is slightly horrifying at the gym.

So, my plan was to exfoliate. Shave. Re-exfoliate, and then apply after I was dry.
I bought the most expensive option from Target....
Completed the exfoliation regime. Dried. And, of course, the result:



Keep in mind that it is more obvious in reality, and I didn't even take pictures of my arms.
Note to self: NEVER. AGAIN.
No matter how full-proof the product claims to be. I will always be the dolt who can't get it right.

Now I have crossed over the slightly horrifying threshold into totally horrifying.

Note to self:

I will sleep the day away the first weekend day after the first week of school.

And it wasn't even the first FULL week.

Yikes.

Note to self:

DO NOT EVER FORGET IT WHEN YOU HAVE A LIVE DRAFT FOR YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE AND YOU ARE PICK #1.

I hate hate hate hate HATE my team.

I KNOW that I have issues. I am aware, nor am I denying.

I don't draft:
Vikings
Bears
Detroilet
Patriots
Denver
Dallas

players. Ever. I also avoid:
Eagles
Seahawks

I usually do well with this messed-up logic. And then tonight, I forgot about my draft and went to Cinetopia, watched Inglourous Basterds, ate food and drank beer.

I get home and my league is laughing at me (those who know my quirks), and I have:
Bears
Denver
Vikings
Seattle

players on my team. I hate. my. team.

Now I have to try to suck up and find the players I wanted and would have drafted and hope that their owners will trade with me.

FABULOUS.

Note to self...

If not good at painting, really and truly, pomegranate red is NOT the right choice. Especially after it happens to spill down your side all over you and create a huge mess. :( BAD DAY.
Yes, it will be awesome when there are about 12 coats on the wall--and Hobbes LOVES his litterbox, but it is hot and my clothes are all pomegranatey...
I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!!!

For future reference purposes

I will never ever return to the 24-hour Laundromat on Water St.

Not only did at least 4 of the machines eat my money (losing over $5.50--almost 35 min of work at Culvers!), it was dirty, smelled bad, was disgusting, and absolutely NO contact information was posted concerning how to get a refund.

Just. Fucking. Great.