Parent teacher conferences can be many things.
An exhaustingly long day is one of them.
But also, it can be a day of reflection for me. Why I don't want my own children. Why I am really thankful that I DON'T have my own children. AND, it is VERY awesome that Louie and I see eye-to-eye on the matter of children.
Don't get me wrong, parenthood is awe-inspiring. I can't believe that people CHOOSE that lifestyle. I just can't do it. I can't give enough of myself to an offspring, and while I might have fleeting MOMENTS of thinking having my own child, I do not want to procreate.
I don't see myself as a mom. A cool kick-ass aunt? Heck yes. But there are too many variables in procreating--what if I were to spawn a flute-playing, non-athlete?!!? While I have nothing against non-athletes or flute players, because of my EXTREMELY competitive nature--THIS WOULD BE HORRIBLE. I would want a stellar athlete, super-smart, super awesome child. This is not fair. Parents should be supportive no matter the path a child follows--like my colleague who LOVES the fact that his daughter is deciding on whether or not to move to the next level of ice skating because well, she really likes the clarinet and doesn't want the intense yell-at-you coach that comes with the next level. And like my other colleague who can't handle serious competition, but her husband wants a competitive sports chap, and they are just going to find a way to work it out. These scenarios give me heart palpitations, which only add credence to my ultimate decision.
I also can't even fathom the time component of spawn--loss of sleep, then all the things that come with a child--activities, conferences, carting them around until they get a license, all the nights worrying about underage drinking parties and random orgies out in the woods. And yes, if you have a high school aged student, these are REAL concerns one should have.
Not. For. Me. EVER.
I'd rather be around students all day and go home and CHILL at night. Yes, I take my work home, and my students text me, call me, email me incessantly--but they aren't mine. I am not responsible for 110% of EVERYTHING. I don't want that.
And I know that is ok. Yes, I have heard it all. "It's different when it's your own child;" "You'll change your mind when you are older;" "You really DO want kids, you are just in denial;" "Wait until your biological clock kicks in..."
And I think for a moment, but come to the same conclusion.
No thanks.
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That's a Wrap
2 years ago
2 comments:
It's refreshing to meet someone who feels this way! I'm not sure how I feel about it. Most days, I really don't want children...but every now and then I feel like I'm missing out on something amazing. I am a stepparent, but it's not the same as having your own. I'm also almost 40 so time is pretty much up for me.
I COMPLETELY sympathize with you on this. In fact, today as I sent my $1000 check to the IRS for taxes owed, I really had this thought: I should get tax credits for NOT having kids!!!! Why do people who don't have kids have to subsidize payments for everyone who does (e.g., taxes, health insurance premiums, health club memberships, the list goes on). And supposedly we're interested in sustainability? The system rewards you for having large families that consume lots of resources. aargh. I'm just saying it would be nice to get some recognition for making socially responsible decisions.
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