Results of an hour looking for something funny to post

In lieu of all the negativity.
Yeah...I'm not that impressed either.

At least I tried.

3 Weekends before the end

So here is the tale in emails...
5/27 From our CEA President:

CEA Members:
Today, CEA representatives met with District representatives ***, Assistant Superintendent/HR Director; ***, Business Manager; and **, incoming HR Director.
When we met today, the District made a proposal based on a two-year extension of our contract (to end June 2013) including:
Salary offer spreading the 4% cost of living adjustment (COLA) over the next 3 years.
Insurance increases consistent with current contract ($1130 in 2010-11; $1230 in 2011-12; $1330 in 2012-13)
They stated that the savings in salary under any agreement would go directly to maintain employee jobs within the CEA membership.
Upon discussion, CEA returned with a counter proposal based on a one-year extension of our contract (to end June 2012) including:
Salary offer spreading the 4% cost of living adjustment (COLA) over the next 2 years.
Reduce work days from 192 to 191 for the next 2 years.
Insurance increases consistent with current contract ($1130 in 2010-11; $1230 in 2011-12)
The CEA proposal would save a significant number of positions, as the savings over 2 years for the District would be more than 1.4 million dollars.
The District intends to discuss our proposal with the Board on Wednesday evening and will be communicating back with CEA Representatives on Thursday morning. If the Board accepts our proposal, CEA will begin its ratification process.
In accordance with CEA bylaws, because the contract has not been opened, this amendment would need to be approved by the East County Bargaining Council and ratified by CEA Executive Council. The earliest this could be completed is June 2nd.
We will communicate with you as information becomes available. If you have comments or concerns, please feel free to share them with your building representative or------ 0 false false false

From our Superintendent on 5/27--

Dear staff members,

I know many of you have questions in light of the governor’s request for a 9 percent cut across all state agencies. Tuesday’s announcement was prompted by the state economist’s June forecast that Oregon has a $562.6 million projected shortfall for this biennium.

This news is very disconcerting to everyone. It leaves everything in a state of flux, including an agreement the board was considering with CEA Wednesday night that would have saved some jobs. The Board appreciates ongoing dialogue with CEA and hopes for more.

Because the numbers are quite staggering and the announcement is so new, we need to let the dust settle and see how the statewide reduction plays out before making final decisions about what we will do. The board was not comfortable approving the CEA offer last night in light of the even larger hole in the budget the district has now been informed it faces.

The initial estimates amount to a $2.7 million cut for Centennial on top of the $3.9 million already cut in the proposed 2010-11 budget. This is equivalent to an additional 37 teachers or 15 days of school.

At this point, I do not think this problem will be solved by the end of school year as we had hoped. No matter what happens in the short-term, this is a long-term problem affecting the entire state and many other states in the nation. According to the Governor, we are facing the possibility of 10 years of budget shortfalls unless significant changes occur.

We will keep you informed as the situation evolves and try to lessen the uncertainty as best we can. These are difficult times, and I am sad that I have to be the bearer of more unwanted news. Irrespective of this situation, I have faith in you. I know you are all doing your best in keeping your focus on our students.

Respectfully--

What is hilarious to me is that since the end of last year, our district has been projecting the shortfall of the ridiculous Oregon budget.
What this boils down to is a giant clusterfuck. The district is mad at the last bargaining arrangement they came to with our union. So, they refused to accept our agreement to help save jobs under the guise that the "government made them do it."
Basically, our union tried to accommodate everyone--the asshole teachers who didn't want a pay freeze to save teachers' jobs, AND the district who told our union that they "weren't interested in creative solutions" to the budget issue.
I hate public education. I hate unions. I am grouchy and on edge, and my colleagues consistently tell me that i should lighten up and cheer up--of course they are the ones whose jobs AREN'T in danger of being cut.
I won't know if I have a job until the school year is over (I am 98% sure I won't have a job anyway), while everyone else can have a happy summer of relaxation, I will be wondering where I will be in the fall.

I know that it is out of my control. This post will be the last I will dwell on the matter. I want to finish this year, enjoy my students, and try my best to not let others get to me. It is so hard though. When it is so beyond obvious that the students' best interests aren't what is important (if it was, our administration wouldn't have a $35,000 iPhone budget--yep--one teacher's salary for phones).

I could just really REALLY use some good news.

So, I was going to post this on our wedding blog, but thought it might not go over so well...

So, for many women in the world, getting engaged and then married is kind of a big deal. I won’t lie--getting engaged meant the world to me.

BUT, I wanted to enjoy being engaged!!

That wasn’t really possible with EVERYONE hounding us--”When’s the big day?” “Did you set a date yet?” “No date yet? Really?”

Frustrating.

And now that we have set the date, even MORE insensitive hounding--"Oh. A cruise. In December." ”WOW, that is REALLY far off!” “That is A LONG time from now!” “Really? A cruise? No one will be at your wedding.” “Why a cruise?” “Why the Caribbean?” “Why Carnival? Their food is terrible.” (This is from someone who has NEVER EVER been on a cruise). I have been on 3. ALL THREE CARNIVAL. I LOVED EVERY SINGLE ONE.

What. the. heck?

Honestly, if it weren’t for Louie’s desire to please his family, I would put my foot down and make him take me to city hall and we’d be done with it. I am SICK of this moment being all about everyone else. It isn’t meant to be for everyone else--it is meant to be for Louie and me. Why is that so challenging for people to respect? Why does everyone make it about THEM?

I am not like other people. Other people want to have a ceremony and a fru-fru party. I don’t. I never did. Other people want to register and “shop” and put all their wants and needs out there for their GUESTS to satisfy. NOT ME. I don’t want gifts, I didn’t even really want people. Other people want to have a caravan of bridesmaids and groomsmen and incessant pre-parties and obligations for others. I don't. Other people want a million dollar dress and other random shit that won't mean jack after the day is over. I DON'T. I want Louie. I want the sun. I want the beach. I want Louie.

And yet, even in my compromise, people are still disdainful. This "wedding" will be a VACATION for anyone who chooses to come along.

I am fully aware that I cannot please everyone. I just pictured all of these moments so differently in my imagination. And so far, nothing has been what I thought.

And it is frustrating.

And I know, that if I ever have a friend who gets engaged, I will NOT treat her this way. I will not be a hound, judgmental, or give my opinion unless I am asked for it.

What I don't understand though, is, why is this such a foreign concept for so many people.

And a giant thank you to Nelson, Jas, Julia, and Linds...I miss you so much!! Your love and support mean the absolute world to me.

Yeah, go ahead and "take something off" your daughter's "plate":

AP Psychology is really going to benefit her long-term, versus AP Language and Composition.

This is now the 7th student "released" by a parent from my class.

I even had an email from a parent saying that my "expectations [were] to high!"
Spelled. Just. Like. That.

The irony.

Note to self:

DO NOT EVER FORGET IT WHEN YOU HAVE A LIVE DRAFT FOR YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE AND YOU ARE PICK #1.

I hate hate hate hate HATE my team.

I KNOW that I have issues. I am aware, nor am I denying.

I don't draft:
Vikings
Bears
Detroilet
Patriots
Denver
Dallas

players. Ever. I also avoid:
Eagles
Seahawks

I usually do well with this messed-up logic. And then tonight, I forgot about my draft and went to Cinetopia, watched Inglourous Basterds, ate food and drank beer.

I get home and my league is laughing at me (those who know my quirks), and I have:
Bears
Denver
Vikings
Seattle

players on my team. I hate. my. team.

Now I have to try to suck up and find the players I wanted and would have drafted and hope that their owners will trade with me.

FABULOUS.

It ISN'T because of the students...

Teachers quit within the first five years of employment because of the adults they encounter and deal with on a daily basis.
The incompetent administrators who can't even command enough respect to have silence at a faculty welcome meeting.
The incompetent administrators who are unprofessional in email communication, and have no clue that what they do is offensive and disrespectful.
The change that comes over those given any semblance of "power," nevermind that I voted said person in, and really had greater expectations and hopes for the role this person would take. I was totally wrong.
The teachers who aren't crabby because they haven't created a new lesson since nineteen-o-two. The same individuals who don't have to move from their classrooms the entire day. While others (me included), have to make 3 moves to three different classrooms throughout the day.

I guess that is an upgrade from the four classrooms I taught in last year.

I know I shouldn't be judgy-mc-judge-erson,

But I am.

The new English hire is a smarmy ex-salesman/businessman. He gets his own classroom (homebase--I don't think he has figured out that he only teaches one class in there), and thinks that the laptop that comes with the room will be at his disposal. Let me tell you about the serious fucking throwdown that will happen if that occurs.

I don't have my own room. I share. With a teacher who has been there for one year longer than me.

I don't have a laptop (I let the senior teacher have it).

This year I teach in 3 different classrooms--one that is slightly far away and not at all user-friendly.

I am crabby enough that the two classes I am most passionate about I can't run the way I want (seating-room decoration wise), that this just is going too far.

:(

AND, our custodians' budget was cut so badly, there is no money for waxing the floors or painting the walls.

Yeah, our school is pretty.

Things I am learning...

I don't like being a grown up and "playing house." It is much harder than planned for.

For every single teaching position I apply for here in the Portland area, there are at least 300-500 applicants I am competing against--something that would have been good information to have prior to me moving my ass out here.

I am not a fan of working retail, and I have gained a whole new respect for those who work it for his/her livelihood.

I actually miss Wisconsin, and my family, and my friends.

I hate driving.

I hate living in the suburbs.

I hate having no money.

I hate having no options.

Expectations

I try not to have any. Low expectations mean it will be extremely hard to be let down. I can't help but feel a little more than hopeful...there has been a lot I have been through, and I am stronger and more independent than I ever have felt before. So why can't I hope for the better? It isn't like I've never been let down...I can't seem to find myself at a happy middle ground--I either completely lose touch with all potential possibilities or I completely shut down any hope for any possible good thing to come my way. The timing is all wacky with this though...and it would be so challenging...BAH...I need to eat and work on my thesis and my drawing assignment.

Fucking Crabby

I am.

I suck a fat one at life drawing. Even though we had a sweet piece of eye candy (it was his first time, so he didn't take his boxers off--totally cute), I had to try to draw foreshortening, and I SUCK AND CAN'T DO IT.
BAHBAHBAH. I am CRABBY.

Tomorrow is the day.

BAH.

Maybe an asteroid will fall directly upon me as I drive to the gym in a bit, and I can avoid tomorrow all together.

:(

RRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR

IMOTHERFUCKINGHATEMOTHERFUCKINGGRAMMAR

For future reference purposes

I will never ever return to the 24-hour Laundromat on Water St.

Not only did at least 4 of the machines eat my money (losing over $5.50--almost 35 min of work at Culvers!), it was dirty, smelled bad, was disgusting, and absolutely NO contact information was posted concerning how to get a refund.

Just. Fucking. Great.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE FULL OF IT.

FUCK YOU.