I woke up to a very excited email this morning:

Some background--

Jay Asher--author of 13 Reasons Why--an amazing book about suicide and the ramifications of even the smallest actions--recognized three videos done in relation to his book. The entire junior class this past year listened to the audio version (amazing--done by two different voices--unbelievably amazing)--and I recommended it to many of my AP students to read for their YA final self-selection text. So, one of my students asked me if she could make a video trailer for her final project. She did, and it was beyond amazing.

So, to the email I had this morning:

Ms. ***! Hi this is *******. Do you remember me? =]

How's your summer been?

So do you remember the 13 Reasons Why video I made for your class?

well, I uploaded it on Youtube, and I guess Asher saw it>>>

and guess what: Jay Asher himself put it on his blog on July 11!!! =D

I didn't know until someone commented the video I posted on Youtube....but yea! isn't that cool??!!

and it's all thanks to YOU for letting me make that vid and lending me the audio for it ^_^

THANK YOU MS.****!!!!

Check out her video (it is the third video--the black and white one on the bottom).

I miss teaching. Already. This. Sucks.

But I am SO proud of her!!!

Irony at its finest...

No responses from any school here in OR as of now.

A call this morning from MY high school in Wisconsin (1918 miles away from where I currently live) to set up a 1 hour interview for a long-term temporary sub position.

Argh.

9 more wake-ups...

And this nightmare schoolyear is over....

But, tomorrow is graduation, and that is sad. And, I love my students, so that is sad. If I could take out the grown-up parts (like dealing with other grown-ups) out of this year, it would have ROCKED!

I'll just focus on this for the next 9 days. :) I. CAN. DO. IT.

Things I DID NOT LEARN ABOUT in my teacher-preparation program:

10. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Sometimes, I just work harder than the students—I shouldn’t, but I do.
9. Not all feedback is credible, viable, or realistic. Unless it comes from someone who has the same (or at least close) teaching philosophy as I do.
8. Trust shouldn’t be given so easily to colleagues.
7. How much eating right, taking care of my body, and balancing my life (all aspects of it) is essential to being a successful teacher.
6. Politics, no matter how good of a teacher I am, will always have the ability to get me.
5. The last month of school is utter hell.
4. How much I would miss adult interaction on a more regular basis. Beyond my live-in partner and family—pets just don’t cut it either.
3. Yes, we all “steal,” but now that it is happening to me, it feels like shit. I at least give credit where credit is due.
2. How to deal with atrociously bad teacher-colleagues.
1. Sometimes, even though I really shouldn’t, I just REALLY have to use the restroom. And I always think to myself “I just REALLY hope no fires or fights break out” as I run down the hall in order to make it in time.

It's true...

I love the few and far between positives of my profession. Seriously, they are amazing...

A text I got tonight from a student I talked to this afternoon--he looked bummed out, and I got out of him that he and his girlfriend were having "another dumb fight."

Oh, how I do NOT miss the drama of being a high school student!!!

And the text:

"I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me today. You are so much more then a teacher, you are an amazing person Ms. M----. I wouldn't have told anyone else as far as adults go at the school today, but i feel like i can talk to you, and you'll be there for me. Thanks again, -----"

Not perfect grammar or spelling, but damn, does it help me feel like I AM in the right profession.

I just won't think about where I'll be next year. :(

Sometimes coming up with a title blows.

So, the six simultaneous discussions was the coolest thing ever. Frustrating for me because I couldn't stay long listening to one group (in order to try to hear everyone talk and give them credit), but the entire period (save the final 5 minutes for wrap-up) the groups were discussing the articles THEY chose ahead of time. They selected leaders, they chose the discussion questions, and pretty much blew my mind. I am very proud of them. AND I realized that I am a damn good teacher for this to be able to happen. While I understand that these are driven students, I have challenged them and they have risen to my challenge.

In other news...

I decided that maybe my insomnia was due to going to bed too early. So, I tried to stay up later, and I still woke up at 3AM...I fell back asleep faster though this morning than last night (over an hour of restlessness and unable to shut down my brain), but it is frustrating. I have also woken up with a headache for the past two days as well.

I am hoping that Louie and I join 24 hour Fitness (or other gym) because I really want to work back to feeling awesome about myself again. I am also contemplating Weight Watchers again, but I can't get up enough courage to take a risk.

Can't fail if I don't try...

Options....

1.

Fight. Get a POI (plan of improvement) guaranteed that if I do x, y, and, z I will not lose my job.

Do it. Keep job until budget cuts come down (positions are going to be cut at the high school).

Lose job because of budget cuts.

Have to check the box on all future applications that I have been on a plan of improvement.

Never get hired again.

2.

Fight. Get a non-renewal sent to the board (who has never EVER turned over a decision made by admin/district), appeal it (no one has ever won an appeal in this district), and then have a non-renewal on my record.

Never get hired again.

3.

Resign by February 23rd. Finish the year. Get a positive letter of recommendation. The district won't fight unemployment.

Aren't the choices awesome?

Exhaustion

Day started at 6:30 AM at school. Copies, my colleague's stolen cell phone...then 2 21 minute periods (I know--ridiculous)...then practice for the staff homecoming skit while the assembly ran. Our performance was awesome and it is super fun to hear the students after the assembly--"you were awesome!" Then, 2 more 21 minute periods, my 21 minute prep, and 2 more 21 minute periods. A very quick 20 minute lunch, and parents begin to arrive at 12:15. There was a steady stream of attendees until about 30 minutes before our dinner break at 4:15 (pizza from admin which was nice), and then a constant stream of parents from 4:45 until 7:30 pm. Then call home because I am still functioning and my parents will be tired and in bedtime mode since they are two hours ahead of me--on the 40 minute drive home. I am sleeping before 10 pm, and now I am up at 6am to complete my half-day of inservice knowing that I am missing my 15 year high school reunion this weekend (which is seriously going to be super fun and chill). All I really want to do is sleep for a month, but we actually have a full week next week, and that is going to be killer. And NOT in a good way.

Note to self:

I will sleep the day away the first weekend day after the first week of school.

And it wasn't even the first FULL week.

Yikes.

Freaking out...

Yes, I know that I taught for two 1/2 years in Chicago--those were little ones, and I didn't have my "official" teaching credentials...4th & 6th graders aren't the same.

It is year 3 for me. Starting tomorrow. I am FREAKING out. I can't even explain how much. It is butterflies X1000...

I still have to sleep and make copies tomorrow.

ARGH!!!!!!!!

P.S.

I am no longer, now, nor ever again, a first-year teacher.

THANK GOODNESS.

Holy crap that was hard.

Two weeks to go...

Little sister will be here in 10 days...

My seniors are done (were on Thursday).

I love the letters I am getting--exit assignment for my junior English classes...

I love the real letters/email/verbal thank yous more.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have this job, and to work with such fun students...

I know...as Louie says, I will have to remember this for the beginning of next year...

Even though the grammar is awful, this still made my day: (The first part is in regards to the final research/speech assignment, the later is regarding this student (who has a really hard time with everything, and has to work ten times as hard as everyone else), who had to take his driver's permit test for the eighth time on Friday).

Should Community Service be required for Americans?

is that a good question??

I GOT MY PERMIT!!!!!!!! Thanks for the note, i dont i would have passed if you didn't give me that note.
you the best teacher i have ever had!

I am really lucky!!!

They don't prepare you in teacher prep coursework

during college for holding a student's three month old son for 18 minutes so she can finish her final exam from when she was out having said child.

How little "good news" one gets, so that when any drop of it comes in your general vicinity, you relish in it, repeating it over and over as a personal mantra--just to get through the day until the next horrid day comes and the good is overshadowed and doubted...

Intrinsic motivation isn't a part of every human. Especially when it comes to school.

Sometimes working your ass off doesn't pay off.

Keep telling myself...

It could be worse...

I just wish I understood why public education is so devalued in this world.

Starting to wonder...

If I am really cut out for this...

My days...

Alarm rings at 5:09 (yep, AM--and our clock is set fast, I don't even know how many minutes fast it is, and I don't want to know).
Hit snooze (10 min) once.
Get up.
Get ready.
Leave no later than 5:50am.
Drive to school, stop at Starbucks close to school.
Get to school about 6:30-6:45 am.
Clean up my room (it is a disaster due to some credit recovery class they hold after school in my room), open the shades so it isn't cave-like, and start working on stuff: entering grades, more grading, reading email, printing reports, planning, making copies, etc.
First period starts at 7:40ish (Wednesdays, common planning starts at 7:30 for an hour, so the day with students starts later).
On A days I have a prep first period, but on B days I teach right away. A days = prep, class, lunch, class, class. B days= class, class, lunch, class, prep. Last period ends at 2:38.
Stay at school working until at least 3:15 (I leave a little earlier if I have a game for volleyball). If we have no game, I am at school sometimes until 3:30 or 3:45.
Leave for Riverdale. (on practice days)
Get to Riverdale at 4:15ish. Practice starts at 4:30.
Practice until 6:30. If I am not dying, I stay to help Varsity. Normally I leave around 7ish.
Drive home.
Get home at 7:30.
Take shower.
Start working on computer stuff--planning for the next day, do some grading, etc.
Eat.
Go to bed...usually around 10ish. Lately, it has been earlier because I have been exhausted.
Get up and do it all over again.

I miss my friends and family. Poor Louie...Thank goodness he is so understanding and kind.

And now it is 6:30 AM on a Saturday, and I can't get back to sleep because my body thinks it should be at school already.

Updates coming

teacher=me?!?!!?
Inservice last day tomorrow...
2 first days of school!!!!!
First game on Wednesday...
The best weekend ever--thanks Louie & DMB & the Gorge!!!
Car?!

If things weren't challenging enough already...

Now I have a teeny chance of getting a dream job in Eau Claire. Louie is pushing me to go for it...I just want to teach.

I can't imagine not waking up next to him anymore...

I just can't figure out the direction I am supposed to take.