So, I was going to post this on our wedding blog, but thought it might not go over so well...

So, for many women in the world, getting engaged and then married is kind of a big deal. I won’t lie--getting engaged meant the world to me.

BUT, I wanted to enjoy being engaged!!

That wasn’t really possible with EVERYONE hounding us--”When’s the big day?” “Did you set a date yet?” “No date yet? Really?”

Frustrating.

And now that we have set the date, even MORE insensitive hounding--"Oh. A cruise. In December." ”WOW, that is REALLY far off!” “That is A LONG time from now!” “Really? A cruise? No one will be at your wedding.” “Why a cruise?” “Why the Caribbean?” “Why Carnival? Their food is terrible.” (This is from someone who has NEVER EVER been on a cruise). I have been on 3. ALL THREE CARNIVAL. I LOVED EVERY SINGLE ONE.

What. the. heck?

Honestly, if it weren’t for Louie’s desire to please his family, I would put my foot down and make him take me to city hall and we’d be done with it. I am SICK of this moment being all about everyone else. It isn’t meant to be for everyone else--it is meant to be for Louie and me. Why is that so challenging for people to respect? Why does everyone make it about THEM?

I am not like other people. Other people want to have a ceremony and a fru-fru party. I don’t. I never did. Other people want to register and “shop” and put all their wants and needs out there for their GUESTS to satisfy. NOT ME. I don’t want gifts, I didn’t even really want people. Other people want to have a caravan of bridesmaids and groomsmen and incessant pre-parties and obligations for others. I don't. Other people want a million dollar dress and other random shit that won't mean jack after the day is over. I DON'T. I want Louie. I want the sun. I want the beach. I want Louie.

And yet, even in my compromise, people are still disdainful. This "wedding" will be a VACATION for anyone who chooses to come along.

I am fully aware that I cannot please everyone. I just pictured all of these moments so differently in my imagination. And so far, nothing has been what I thought.

And it is frustrating.

And I know, that if I ever have a friend who gets engaged, I will NOT treat her this way. I will not be a hound, judgmental, or give my opinion unless I am asked for it.

What I don't understand though, is, why is this such a foreign concept for so many people.

And a giant thank you to Nelson, Jas, Julia, and Linds...I miss you so much!! Your love and support mean the absolute world to me.

Group Blog Thursday (yesterday)

I avoided group blogging today. After my crabby morning at school, I was done. And the more I think about it, the less I want to write about the topic--sex after marriage--because...well, because it makes me crabby.

In general, what motivates me to want more activity, has nothing to do with outside forces (although at this moment, outside forces do have some role). More often than not, it is how I feel about myself that lends itself to my desire (or lack thereof). If I hate how I look/feel, I don't want anyone to come near me, let alone come near me naked.

I think the negative stereotypes that surround women in committed relationships are the minority. Americans LOVE the negative. I'd love to know if in other cultures this stigma of "sexless after marriage" occurs as frequently as it does here.

Plus, men (a large amount of the time) enjoy being martyrs and being the center of attention. What better way to accomplish both than to bitch about the woman he committed his life to not putting out enough? Even if HE's the one who can't meet HER needs.

Check out Steph's blog--not just Thursday's either--she is a super fun writer with a super fun perspective.