Yeah, being stubborn sucks ass.

So, I am NOT a runner. And honestly, I am so far from the "runner" spectrum, there aren't enough words.

I HATE RUNNING.

Ok.

I've also been struggling with my weight/body image/everything for the last 10 years or so. I decided to make a significant change in April. Louie and I joined 24 hour Fitness, and I started doing cardio 3X a week. Then, I added some weight training, then, when summer hit, I started taking a class similar to the one I took at Gold's Gym (thanks Manda K.!), that is a 55 minute hard-core full body lifting weights/cardio up workout. I do that 2-3X a week for the last 5 weeks. On July 7, I started the Couch25K program. Yep. I started to JOG. OUTSIDE. IN MY HILLY (MANY MANY MANY INCLINES) NEIGHBORHOOD.

After about a week of this program, my left knee started to hurt.

And hurt.

And hurt.

But, I kept pushing it. I did the whole RICE thing, tried the KT Tape (HA!), but my athlete competitiveness kept pushing me to keep going--no matter what my body said.

Yesterday morning the pain was pretty bad. Yesterday was also Week 4 Day 1 for me--I had made it SO FAR!!! I called the doctor in the morning, thought about not going out, but went out and completed the workout--I even jogged the FULL 5 minutes!!! BOTH TIMES!!

If you are a runner, this is probably pathetic, but for me, this was HUGE. I wanted to stop and walk SO BADLY, but I kept pushing through (even with my knee screaming at me).

And then I went to the doctor.

HAHAHAHAHA. I. AM. AN. IDIOT.

I am now on Prednisone for the next six days--I am not to run or walk for working out purposes. Then, after the Prednisone is done, I have to wait until my knee feels back to normal--possibly 2 weeks! I also have to go to a special store where they will watch me run (awesome--and yes, that is sarcasm dripping off that comment) and tell me all about my gait and what type of shoes I need. And I am SURE that the shoes will be free too. HA!

BLARGH.

I was on a roll. Consistently working out, I re-joined Weight Watchers last week Wednesday, and have been working hard to improve day by day. This feels like a setback. I didn't work out today and I feel like a loser. Yikes. I am going to try to swim tomorrow, but I think I might have caught the runner bug. *SHUDDER*

Learn-ned-ness.

So, I know that anything good does not come easy. Greatness comes from really really REALLY hard work. I wish that there was more of a focus on this concept rather than society's ill-informed view that good things just appear and life is easy.
In tough times, many give up. Rather than work to make something happen, many choose to take the easier path.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not like that. I generally choose the hardest path available. And usually, it hurts.
I decided that my relationship is worth the effort. No, we aren't married (part of the challenge I'm faced with right now), but he is my family, my safety net, my comfort, my home. He is, and more importantly, we are, worth the work and effort.
In response to my gut feeling that more of an effort had to happen in our relationship to take pressure off him (so he wouldn't think about wedding/marriage), I suggested that once a week we switch off making plans--a "date night" of sorts. We started this week--my choice/plan. I researched things to do and narrowed it down to two choices--Cannon Beach (suggested by friends) and the Portland International Brewfest. The latter won--Louie loves imported beers, and an afternoon people/dog watching in the city with good beer and awesome weather was more up my alley.

It was awesome. I got to drive (my date night=I am in control) and we scored a table in the shade. Louie got to try 6 different beers (me too even if they were just mini-sips as I was the DD). We had good food--he bought us an awesome cheese plate complete with a baguette, salami, and grapes, and it was relaxing and super awesome.
It is his week next week, and he told me already what the plan is--on Wednesday we are going to a Mariners game!!! It will be our first time at Safeco Field, AND they are playing the White Sox, so I'll at least know some players.

Louie doesn't even like baseball.

I don't expect "date night" to be all about money/spending money--going for a walk and curling up on the couch watching tv could constitute a "date night;" the point is more in the effort itself--consciously making an effort to put our relationship at the forefront for an evening/afternoon/morning.

I used to wonder how relationships could get to the point where dates would have to be discussed and really plotted out or where sex would have to be scheduled in order to make it happen--but it can happen--relationships are HARD. Good relationships, great relationships don't just appear out of thin air. Couples have to equally give (yes, thanks Dr. Phil) 100%-100% in order to work and survive and thrive.

Growing up sucks sometimes. Becoming "learn-ned" is rough!!! Nothing worth having comes easy--at least not anything I've encountered thus far.

Maybe I'm wrong though--maybe things shouldn't be this hard?

Sunny Weekend

I do love this weather. I love the mildness of it all. Spring is SUPER early though, even for the area. I don't care though, I LOVE IT. The trees are starting to blossom/bud, and I know that the seemingly eternal grey skies of winter are nearly behind us until next winter. YAY!

I have until Wednesday at noon to decide. I have no clue as to what I am going to do. FUN!

Tres-Tres

Or, trienta (sp.?) y tres if you really want to get your Spanish nuts in a bundle.

It's coming. 4 days.

I wish I had money to fly home for the weekend to celebrate with a cider and spuds at Mogies with Jas, Julia, and Lynds. But, Lynds is overseas, so it wouldn't be the same.

I miss my amazingly intelligent friends.

Oregonian....potential is there...

I have my Oregon license...it is the paper version due to fraud issues, but in 20 days I should have the real thing...I have an interview tomorrow (at a Portland public high school), and even though it is only .4 time, it is better than nothing. I also have an interview at another good district in the area for a .5 position on Wednesday. It is a bummer that I wasn't even considered back in WI, but everything happens for a reason...I just hope it is my turn....

Wisconsin here I come...

I leave tomorrow at the ass-crack of dawn to fly back to central Wisconsin, and will go back to EauClaire on Wednesday to start the pack & the major downsizing...occasionally, I say that I am going back "home," but my home seems to be here, not at my parents' home or in EC--but it is all very confusing and I am still identifying with "home" being all together at my parents' house (where I grew up), in EC (where I spent a LOT of my years & my good friends are), and in Chicago (that still seems to call to me)...it is very discombobulating...I can't wait to see Nelson, Steph, January, Jasmine, Lindsay, and Julia when I am home though, as well as my sister, gramma, and parents.

Louie is letting me take his laptop, which ranks as high as his car, so I feel honored that I get to have it for the two week, no cable-no internet excursion to Wisconsin.

I think he is going to enjoy having me out of his hair more than he will admit. BUT, he will have to do the scooping job daily...maybe he WILL want me to come back! :)

Lesson learned...

point taken...

So, on Wednesday it will be three weeks that I have been here in OR.Besides being totally broke, freaking out about the $600 airfare for moving completely out of my apartment before June 30th, and looking for jobs incessantly, I have also been looking for a sports store that has rollerblading gear/parts so I could clean my bearings and rotate my wheels. I have been quite unlucky in my search, and though this state/city is insane about their bicycling, there has been no sight of any rollerblading accessories (let alone any blades!)...

I now know why.


I was in need of el diet soda, so I thought that after my painting endeavor, rather than take Louie's pride and joy out (and risk dirtying-or worse-RAIN upon--the newly washed interior and exterior), I decided to rollerblade to the grocery store.

I knew after about five minutes of complete downhill coasting that I was going to be in for a world of hurt.

Due to my stubbornness, I kept going, disregarding the NO SKATEBOARDING NO ROLLERBLADING -- STRICTLY ENFORCED sign posted in the parking lot, returned Jesus Camp (another blog topic for later discussion) to Blockbuster, and de-bladed. I get several looks/stares--almost as if I had three heads. Now, it could have been that I was singing with my Ipod too loudly, or that my hair was all crazy pushed back with a neon green headband, or maybe people have never seen a fat girl on rollerblades. It could have been that I was wearing flip-flops with socks or that my Milwaukee Brewers t-shirt was a foreign entity...whatever it was--it was weird.

So after pounding an Odwalla lemonade, I re-bladed, and started off back home. I flew by some little boys on their bicycles, and a lady with her dog (mini-ugmo dog) that yanked it back as if I were going to maul it, and began my hellish uphill journey.

Holy. Fack. At one point I think I had to pause, and began rolling back downhill because there was still a mighty ascent left for me to complete.

Maybe the hills ARE too sucky for rollerbladers...


Or, maybe I am just SUPER-ASS-OUT-OF-SHAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am going with the latter...just because I don't want to give up blading yet!!!