Learn-ned-ness.

So, I know that anything good does not come easy. Greatness comes from really really REALLY hard work. I wish that there was more of a focus on this concept rather than society's ill-informed view that good things just appear and life is easy.
In tough times, many give up. Rather than work to make something happen, many choose to take the easier path.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not like that. I generally choose the hardest path available. And usually, it hurts.
I decided that my relationship is worth the effort. No, we aren't married (part of the challenge I'm faced with right now), but he is my family, my safety net, my comfort, my home. He is, and more importantly, we are, worth the work and effort.
In response to my gut feeling that more of an effort had to happen in our relationship to take pressure off him (so he wouldn't think about wedding/marriage), I suggested that once a week we switch off making plans--a "date night" of sorts. We started this week--my choice/plan. I researched things to do and narrowed it down to two choices--Cannon Beach (suggested by friends) and the Portland International Brewfest. The latter won--Louie loves imported beers, and an afternoon people/dog watching in the city with good beer and awesome weather was more up my alley.

It was awesome. I got to drive (my date night=I am in control) and we scored a table in the shade. Louie got to try 6 different beers (me too even if they were just mini-sips as I was the DD). We had good food--he bought us an awesome cheese plate complete with a baguette, salami, and grapes, and it was relaxing and super awesome.
It is his week next week, and he told me already what the plan is--on Wednesday we are going to a Mariners game!!! It will be our first time at Safeco Field, AND they are playing the White Sox, so I'll at least know some players.

Louie doesn't even like baseball.

I don't expect "date night" to be all about money/spending money--going for a walk and curling up on the couch watching tv could constitute a "date night;" the point is more in the effort itself--consciously making an effort to put our relationship at the forefront for an evening/afternoon/morning.

I used to wonder how relationships could get to the point where dates would have to be discussed and really plotted out or where sex would have to be scheduled in order to make it happen--but it can happen--relationships are HARD. Good relationships, great relationships don't just appear out of thin air. Couples have to equally give (yes, thanks Dr. Phil) 100%-100% in order to work and survive and thrive.

Growing up sucks sometimes. Becoming "learn-ned" is rough!!! Nothing worth having comes easy--at least not anything I've encountered thus far.

Maybe I'm wrong though--maybe things shouldn't be this hard?

Group Blog Thursday: Loving a Blogger...

So, Steph in the City's group blog topic for the week centers around whether or not a significant other reads his/her partner's blog. The answer may or may not change how one writes one's blog.

Well, he used to read my blog, but then I moved in with him.

I tend to do before think, so if I didn't originally censor my writing, I may have once I re-read a blog based on whether or not Louie read my posts. But now, we are both so super busy, and so immersed in each other's lives, I don't see the need to censor. This is a good outlet for me, and if I have something to say to him, I do...it isn't like this is my only means of communication...

At one point this was an excellent way for me to vent about experiences in my past with boys, but now I don't have to. Sure, things aren't totally falling into my "ideal" notion of what I thought my life would be, but I doubt that truly happens for anyone.

Who was reading my blog once super-drove what I wrote--I used to have an IP tracker and I figured out someone from my negative past was reading my blog. Reverse stalking, I know, but now I could care less. I do wish I had more to say in order to build a better reading community, but I am also not doing much to build readership up. And then I wonder why I would even want that to begin with. I guess my inner little voice hasn't gone away from when I was little and dreamed of having thousands of fans interested in what I have to say because they were so entertained by my humor and wittiness...Sort of how I existed on the Sweet Valley High series, always peeking at that back page for the next installment's teaser and title.

God, I loved that crap!!!

So, I know that I am two days late...I wish Stephanie would change it to Group Blog Saturdays, for the teaching people who are getting their asses kicked by the future of America on a daily basis during the week! But, check out her blog and those that also posted their links! It is a good mental-checkout from the real world--trust me!

And babe, if you do read this, it would be nice if, rather than cleaning the garage on the one day of the weekend not consumed by football for me, that we could hang out, or at least, go grocery shopping...

Group Blog Thursday (yesterday)

I avoided group blogging today. After my crabby morning at school, I was done. And the more I think about it, the less I want to write about the topic--sex after marriage--because...well, because it makes me crabby.

In general, what motivates me to want more activity, has nothing to do with outside forces (although at this moment, outside forces do have some role). More often than not, it is how I feel about myself that lends itself to my desire (or lack thereof). If I hate how I look/feel, I don't want anyone to come near me, let alone come near me naked.

I think the negative stereotypes that surround women in committed relationships are the minority. Americans LOVE the negative. I'd love to know if in other cultures this stigma of "sexless after marriage" occurs as frequently as it does here.

Plus, men (a large amount of the time) enjoy being martyrs and being the center of attention. What better way to accomplish both than to bitch about the woman he committed his life to not putting out enough? Even if HE's the one who can't meet HER needs.

Check out Steph's blog--not just Thursday's either--she is a super fun writer with a super fun perspective.