Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
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This summer Vs. Last summer

This Summer Last Summer
Wake up early. Wake up early.
Eat yogurt/cereal/egg. Eat breakfast (toast/other terrible things)
Sit on computer. Sit on computer.
Work out. Nap.
Watch tv. Watch tv.
Eat lunch Sit on computer.
Look for jobs. Work on lessons for the fall.
Sit on computer. Sit on computer.
Sit outside (if sunny) and read. Watch tv.
Take shower. Eat dinner.
Clean up/do dishes. Go to bed.
Sit on computer. Repeat.
Bake something/make something.
Eat dinner.
Watch tv.
Read.
Go to bed.
Repeat.

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The hour and 45 minute drive was worth every second. Both ways.

I got to see four of the most influential women in my life—and other than my mom, gramma, and sister, these four have helped make me a better person. They also are awe-inspiring and absolutely amazing.

Today, I learned things I didn’t know could even happen (a penis can break which results in a $16,000+ surgery!).

I saw first hand the ramifications of no insurance—my beautiful world-traveling friend who taught overseas for two years now has a mysterious illness that the free clinic has yet to diagnose correctly.

I was made aware of the importance of being proactive and researching anything that is prescribed (because it could be made at the Hormel plant).

I was able to discuss the disenchantment that comes with working in academia surrounded by drama and politics—and we all loved our university at one point.

Finally, I was able to read and give “feedback” (question/comment/edit) an academic essay and discuss highly intellectual topics and drink really good wine.

This mini—list doesn’t begin to do today justice. We ate and laughed at Mogies. We walked in the sun and sat in the shade eating gelato and talking and laughing some more. We went and sat on a picnic table in Owen Park in the shade and laughed, talked, and realized how shitty it is to grow older. We set a date in January for a future “girl’s weekend” in *maybe* San Francisco (and depending on my job/school situation, we might go to Costa Rica for a week!) We went to the Farmer’s Market and bought bread, beets, salsa, raspberries, rhubarb pie, and someone got free coffee due to her amazing prowess (uh, NOT me! Damn, even when she’s sick she’s amazing!).

I actually feel refreshed, recharged, and can’t wait to see what’s next for my life. Eventually I would have come to this on my own, but re-centering myself with these women who I admire, respect, and look up to has given me a swift kick in the ass in the right direction.

I would give ANYTHING for the middle states between OR & WI to move north to Canada so our two states could be closer.

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Excited

Honestly, I can not wait to see my girls tomorrow. I need a Jasmine, Julia, and Lindsay session, and maybe, just maybe, we can plan a girl's weekend with some finality.


Seven days really is a long time. I have so much respect for my mom and how she handles my grandparents every day. I am exhausted after hanging out with them for 3 ish hours every day--it is draining and HARD work. Gramma needs her cart with her oxygen tank everywhere she goes, and she can't really walk on her own. If she wants to go outside, one has to skillfully maneuver both her wheelchair and her cart of oxygen--there is no holder on the wheelchair--that would make too much sense. If BOTH my grandparents are headed outside of their tiny apartment, another trip must be made in order to push my grandpa in HIS wheelchair.

I am going to need to sleep for a month when I get back...though that does not play into my new mission--really and truly get in shape and be unfat this summer.

I guess I'll just sleep on the plane back.

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Forced positivity:

I. CAN. DO. IT.
Some "good-ness":

1. My "Happy Stuffs" binder full of cards, letters, and notes from my students and even parents of students thanking me and praising me.
2. Random text messages and emails from my students offering me words of advice.
3. My cats love me unconditionally (so much so that one is currently drooling on me as I try to type this).
4. I get to see my family and gramma very soon.
5. Strawberry Toaster strudels, Coke Zero Cherry, and Excedrin Migraine to help my brain not feel like it is in a vice grip.
6. Mousehunt on facebook.
7. Other people think I am more than a teacher even if I can't see that right now. They love me and are trying to support me through this.
8. iPone. I love mine. SO MUCH.
9. Sha-Nay-Nay. I hope I won't have to get rid of her! I love how zippy and zoomy she is--and she can fit into ANY parking space I try to put her in!
10. Books.
11. TV, TiVo, streaming Netflix trial...
12. Clean hair (yeah...it was a week...)

This is a good start. I am going to make myself do this when I am feeling down and dwelling on what I can not change.

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Maybe this one...though this is LONG...and I'd probably be broke...


View Larger Map

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Dream...what I'd like to do starting June 20th...


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P.S. This would be 13 of the 30 baseball stadiums...Since I have been to Miller Park, Fenway, Wrigley, Comisky, Comerica (even if it was for a DMB concert), that would put my total at 18 of the 30 (I have been to the old twins field, but not the new Target field--damn you Minnesota!)

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I'm pretty sure

I've posted about this before, but I don't care.
Happiness:





That, and knowing I am taking a personal day tomorrow. And good food. :)

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It's true...

I love the few and far between positives of my profession. Seriously, they are amazing...


A text I got tonight from a student I talked to this afternoon--he looked bummed out, and I got out of him that he and his girlfriend were having "another dumb fight."

Oh, how I do NOT miss the drama of being a high school student!!!

And the text:

"I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me today. You are so much more then a teacher, you are an amazing person Ms. M----. I wouldn't have told anyone else as far as adults go at the school today, but i feel like i can talk to you, and you'll be there for me. Thanks again, -----"

Not perfect grammar or spelling, but damn, does it help me feel like I AM in the right profession.


I just won't think about where I'll be next year. :(

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Sunny Weekend

I do love this weather. I love the mildness of it all. Spring is SUPER early though, even for the area. I don't care though, I LOVE IT. The trees are starting to blossom/bud, and I know that the seemingly eternal grey skies of winter are nearly behind us until next winter. YAY!


I have until Wednesday at noon to decide. I have no clue as to what I am going to do. FUN!

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So, he asked, and I said yes...

Very shocked.
I am very lucky.

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My Perfect Day...

Group Blog Thursday (yes, I am aware that it is now Friday evening!) thanks to Stephanie, forces me to think about what I'd like to do on a perfect dream day.


Several scenarios come to mind, but as of this moment, here is what could be ideal:

Caribbean--one of the Virgin Islands or Barbados, Grenada, or Martinique. Louie and I would wake up and walk out directly onto the beach and swim in the super warm water. After some laying around in the sun, showering, coffee, and food would be in order. Good coffee, eggs, fruit, and other breakfasty deliciousness--and a mimosa would be in order as well.

Then more ocean. Snorkeling and swimming, more relaxing, snacking, and drinking in the sun. More showering, then a phenomenal 6 course meal cooked for us by Paley who happened to be down in the Caribbean, and then The Dave Matthews Band would play a show where we were staying and we'd have front-row seats.

Of course, sex would be a regular occurrence throughout the day, and there would be no worrying about money, work, the cats, family, school...no email, iPhone, iPod, computer, or tv. (This would have to take place between the end of football season and the beginning of baseball season for me to be ok with all of that--I'm the sports nut, not Louie!)

I could handle that decadence for a day....

Ahhhhhhhhh, wouldn't it be nice?!?!?!

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So I have these amazing friends...

One is this super amazing writer who has had to deal with so much garbage in her life, and yet, her hilarious laugh and infectious smile is what stands out--not the bad things she has had to endure. Her writing is incredible, she is already published (with more to come FOR SURE), and has to deal with the most imbecilic douchebags I have ever heard about. I love her.

One is an amazing college professor, who is finally finding her path, and things seem to be falling into place. The work her students produce and the life exposure she gives them I totally envy. And, she loves her dog more than any old high school classmates love their spawn. I love her.

One is world traveler. Balls-to-the-wall off to Japan to live in a place where she isn't comfortable with the language, to teach students in a setting many dream of but never experience. Her students are eager to learn, appreciative of knowledge, and respectful. What I wouldn't give for a classroom full of those students. I am pretty sure I haven't ever heard her truly complain, even if she has to walk to work after riding public transportation, even if she is in an unfulfilling relationship (when we all know she deserves the absolute best and NOTHING less), even if she gets lonely, her positive attitude is something I wish I had even an iota of. I love her.

I am SO lucky!!!!!!!!!!!

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If I had a billion dollars...

Thanks to Steph and her Group Blog Thursday, here is the topic at hand...


I wouldn't really have unlimited time, because at this point in my life, I haven't made the impact I want yet. I would need to keep teaching. Even though I complain, and it does suck a great deal of the time, I still love my students.

I would start looking into building a charter school that I could run the way I'd like...Well, I would have amazing people to run it, so I would enjoy teaching. I could hire the cream of the crop teachers that I know, and hold high expectations for my students and not have administration fight me.

I would make it like a boarding school, so those who can't afford to get to my school could stay, and even the least financially able students would be invited to attend. Prerequisite=desire to learn and work hard for that experience.

All natural and local foods, to help the local growers, and teach students that one can eat healthy food that tastes good--which would be good for me too!

Of course, I'd love to travel, see the world, and first and foremost, I'd help my family--my sister wouldn't have to worry about insurance any more, my mom and dad could retire without worry.

And L...I would take very very good care of him. I'd totally buy him his dream Ferrari. And surprise him with it.
That would be the best.

It is interesting to ponder what a pile of money could do for my life. My instant gut reactions have little to do with personal gain for myself and more to do with how awesome it could be for others...

Oh, how wonderful to dream...


Be sure to check out Steph's blog and blog about a pile of money too!!! MONEYFIGHT!!!

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The Sunflower Project



Julia had a project for us, and as she tentatively questioned if we wanted to go to this field that was in the lower quadrant of her visual (which comprised of her two hands making an X shape and her trying to point to the corresponding quadrant), and we didn't even hesitate in agreeing to go there. Awesome.
















After the third try of setting the self-timer to get a shot of all four of us in the field, I tried to run to make it under the barbed wire fence in time. This was the result. I took the biggest faceplant ever into the dirt and my toe lost.

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P.S.

I am no longer, now, nor ever again, a first-year teacher.

THANK GOODNESS.

Holy crap that was hard.

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Fortunate...

I am.

Even though this year is going to be rough, I have this sneaky feeling inside, this little voice speaking to me, and innately I know that I will be an exceptional teacher.

I don't want to jinx things or myself, but I really love this school. I really hope that I am asked back next year, and that I can have a long career here. I really enjoy the student body and my colleagues. I think once I figure out my path, I can only improve on my teaching and better things for my students.

Louie is wonderful, and much of the time I want to pinch myself to validate that this is my life, and this is real. The contentedness that can exist in a healthy relationship is really a new and wonderful experience. No voice in my gut telling me that I am making a mistake, not second-guessing, no leery feeling about our future paths and if they meld or collide. It is exactly what I thought was out there for me, but never really believed existed so I settled, and then, luckily, I found out I was right.

I am LUCKY.

Now, I just need some friends.

I miss my WI peeps a giant amount.

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Updates coming

teacher=me?!?!!?
Inservice last day tomorrow...
2 first days of school!!!!!
First game on Wednesday...
The best weekend ever--thanks Louie & DMB & the Gorge!!!
Car?!

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1834.75 miles=

26 hours 48 minutes...

That. is. far.

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OH.MY.GOD.



I just received the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I have ever seen, with my favorite flowers.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

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Best. Night. Ever.

Boy, did I need that. Thank you so much DN, JK, SVP, LH, AK, and JL---THANK YOU FOR THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!