In the past 41 days...

I have lost my gramma.  Who I loved more than I could ever convey in words. 
I started a long-term substitute teaching position in a classroom in the high school I graduated from.  With 3 post-it notes as my plans. 
I was able to see my fiance twice--two times more than I thought I would when I first came out here.  The first was for my gramma's memorial service, and the second was me being back in OR in our home. 
I lost my grandpa.  Two weeks ago tomorrow was when we lost him, and now I have no grandparents left.  I never thought that I would ever say that.  Ever. 
I saw my favorite aunt more than I have in the past 10 years--she was with my mom together with grandpa the night he passed.  She came the day after we lost gramma, stayed for a week, and came back for over 2 weeks when grandpa was given only a few days left to live.  She was my mom's savior and I am thankful every moment for her presence for my mom.
I have lost 10 pounds and have worked up to running 28 minutes straight.   I have had some missteps along the way, but I am determined to maintain a healthier lifestyle because it feels much better.
I've been able to spend time with my grad school friends--three women who inspire me every single day with their talents and energy.
I've been able to see my family on a regular basis.
My little sister and I have worked some of the weird out, and things feel a little more normal and positive.
I have missed my fiance, my home, my cats, my life in OR more than I thought possible.  I am doing my best to stay positive and upbeat, but some days it is really hard.

Everything happens for a reason, and I believe this to be true now more than ever.  Even though it was horrible, and I am still not totally recovered from it, I am so glad I lost my job.  It got me back to Wisconsin, and it got me an entire month with my gramma and grandpa.  An entire month I would never have had otherwise.  I would never have been able to forgive myself had I been in OR when my grandparents passed, and I got to spend so much time with them--I feel so lucky to have had that opportunity. 

I miss them horrible.  I miss being naughty to get a rise out of my gramma, and I miss having to shout in order for my grandpa to hear me.  I didn't even get to tell gramma about my teaching hell experiences and there are times where I am so overwhelmed by how much I miss them I don't know how to deal with it. I know they are happier now.  I know that death comes to us all.  It doesn't make things less sad for me right now. 

I know that a large part of who I am today is because of my gramma.  Because of my grandparents who helped my parents make me the woman I am.  And I will forever be thankful for them.